Tuesday, December 31, 2013



Blogging4Jesus2013 has been a huge blessing for me this past year. Through this year, I have learned the importance of working on my priorities and trusting God through it all. Unfortunately, this year I have done student teaching twice this year. I loved both experiences. The first time around I did not have my priorities in check and I did not complete student teaching. I was pulled out and I had to do it again. When this happened, it was horrible for me. It took me forever to share this with anyone. But, I realized that I had to share it in order to keep moving on.  When I failed the first time around, I thought well I’ll just graduate without the education major and I’ll find another job. This was me trying to graduate on time and trying to be successful. After talking with God and giving some time to it, I realized that not having the education major was NOT an option. The first theme for me this year was, “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:11) 
This was not the only time that I felt like not doing the education major.  During the second time, I was questioning if all the work that I was doing was worth the money that I would be getting paid for in the future. I was really thinking maybe there was another option for myself. And also I had this one lady kept asking me “Are you sure you want to be a teacher?” or “Is there anything that I can say to convince you to not be in this profession?" And honestly, I kept telling her no thank you. And yes I do want to be a teacher. But, I really had to speak those things to her as I was also speaking to my mind and saying what I was needed to do. However, I realized that I really enjoyed teaching and I finally saw that the end result was definitely worth all the work. The students are the reasons I was in the profession. With Jesus and Blogging4Jesus2013, I realized that I had to keep fighting and trusting in God. With God, all things are possible.

Another theme for this year was to trust God and not deny what He has for me. At church, I have spoken several times. However, I would not say that I was preaching or anything of that nature. Even when I preached like 5-10 years ago, I still was denying the thought of being a preacher. And when I had to speak, it would always be me saying “I am going to speak.” It would be nothing like I’m preaching. And my motto was I’m not fully accepting or denying anything. It was a fake mindset of keeping my mind open. It took me the whole year to stop denying what God was calling me to do. Just as one of guest bloggers was saying, I have realized that I have to let go of my plans and trust in God. God knows the plans that He has for us. Therefore, I need to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  Unfortunately, it took me about 12 months to actually adopt this. Through Bro Doug, Glen Jordan, Blogging4Jesus2013, and other people from church, I realized that it is time to stop leaning unto mine own understanding. It’s time to trust God and depend on Him FULLY!!!

For this upcoming year, I expect some great things to come. I expect that God is going to open up doors for His people. I believe that for myself I will have some hardships and challenges. But with this, there will be an awesome testimony to come forth. I expect that this movement will do crazy and awesome things and reach new heights. I expect that God will take us all out of our comfort zones and we will walk in our purpose. For myself, I believe that God is going to give awesome revelations and that He will open up doors. Even though things look dismal in the world and in our economy, I know that God is going to turn it for my good. Greater is COMING!!!!

In many ways, Christ collided with me in 2013. God made his grace, mercy, love, and favor apparent in my life at just the right time. From graduating from school in 2012 to moving back in with my parents to beginning my job search (later than I should have) to obtaining and getting acclimated to my new “real job” to my sister leaving for school in Maryland to breaking up with my boyfriend of  3 years, I was drained. My life changed dramatically in just a few months and by the end of 2012 I wasn’t sure which way was up. I was happy at times because I had things to be thankful for, of course—I wasn’t homeless, I had a job (unlike many of my other former classmates) and a family that loved me—but at other times I felt lonely, confused, and as if I was just going through the motions, watching someone else that wasn’t me live my life.

It sounds dramatic, but Blogging4Jesus2013 literally changed the course of my life. When Jamera had the idea to begin this blog something within me told me to just say yes immediately. It wasn’t my idea or my plan. In many ways, this was Christ forcibly coming into contact with me (I couldn’t tell my best friend I didn’t want to help her with the blog when it was a vision from God, right! I had to say yes LOL). At the time, right or wrong I always felt that because I grew up going to church, God always followed me, even when I wanted to be far from him and even when I wanted to do wrong.  

Once again, the same thing was happening with this blog. The opportunity essentially knocked on my door, and at that time I did not realize the significance or the magnitude of what was happening. There was no moment of clarity, the heavens did not open, and I did not see an angel before me, I just started DOING because somehow I knew that it was exactly what I needed, and I knew that even if the blog had no readers and no one else was blessed by it, at the very least us bloggers would be. I started brainstorming, working on the website, helping get bloggers, etc.

I knew enough from going to church my whole life that God’s word does not return to him void, meaning it is not empty. It is full of substance and its promises are true. Subconsciously, I knew that I had to give in to God’s truth and stop trying hold on to my truth, but at that time I wasn’t fully aware of this.

So you may be asking, what changed and when? What happened in 2013??
Well…it wasn’t just one thing or one moment that I became aware that I needed to drop my truth and take up God’s, it was a slow process that became a lifestyle.

I became a different person on the inside and it started to show on the outside. I began to read the Bible and pray more often and with more fervor than I ever had. I started praying in the car on my way to work nearly every day. I started to do things for God out of genuine desire rather than obligation. I learned to forgive those who wronged me easier, mending relationships that I never thought would be mended, and necessarily distancing myself from others that I thought would last a lifetime. I now love harder because I learned about love from reading God’s word. I began to tell people about God and give them encouraging words, when in the past it was hard for me to even tell people “God Bless” or “Praise the Lord” and not snicker a little bit. I became a nicer person. I was filled with a joy that I could never explain, but for the sake of this blog I will definitely try—I felt and still feel warm, whole, and at peace. But most of all, wanted and affirmed by someone amazing (GOD). In turn, trivial things have become less cause for worry and anxiety. 2013 was not all roses by any stretch of the imagination, and I am not an angel all of a sudden, but I have found that when faced with problems I feel empowered like never before and I feel a desire to strive to do good.

In 2013 I came to the realization that I am a Christian and I want to aim to live like Christ for the rest of my life. I remember some months ago one of the church elders (who is like family to me) was praying for me and he basically said “you are a child of God so acknowledge it.” That moment was eye-opening because it was then that I realized this was something that I had been struggling with all along. I had a preconceived notion of the person that I thought I was and might end of being, and that led me down a path of destruction. When I decided that I wanted to take on God’s truth and abandon my own, I became someone that in my mind I honestly never saw myself being—this praying “grandma at 23” that doesn’t hit the club every weekend, acts like a lady (most of the time), speaks the truth in love, does kind gestures, and one day wants her own family that partakes in corny cutesy traditions. But now that I’ve accepted that that is THE REAL JAEL, it feels so right! In 2013 I decided and acknowledged that I prefer her, and that I want to serve God until the day I die.

Well here comes 2014, now what?
For my walk with Christ in 2014, I EXPECT TO BE EXPECTANT.

Let me explain—I had a conversation with my parents a while ago where we discussed expectations. I explained that I didn’t usually expect the best from people or out of situations. I simply expected that I would make it through. Hearing my parents describe their outlooks on life and saying how they woke up everyday thinking that God has something special in store for them, really made me examine myself and what it means to expect (to wait for and anticipate a coming occurrence). For 2014, I am EXPECTING to be EXPECTANT! I am making a conscious decision to be hopeful and speak words of faith in everyday life, from the moment I rise in the morning to the moment I lay my head to rest. I don’t have any lofty plans for the year, besides to take the GRE and apply for grad school if you consider that to be lofty, but I’m really expecting God to surprise me with something great out of nowhere because I know that he is that kind of God! I am expecting testimonies about God's goodness from any and everyone! I will continue to delight in the Lord and he says that when I do that he will give me (and you!) the desires of my heart . Lastly, I am expecting my relationship with Him to grow and for my gifts to be furthered for His glory. 

Blogging4Jesus has changed my whole perspective on life. Whenever anything goes wrong I now naturally, without hiccup, without hesitation go before God in prayer. It's not even a second thought. Even the slightest issues/problems/dilemmas encourage me to go kneel before God. In 2012 I can't really say that was the case. I would hesitate to pray and more importantly prayer wasn't my first choice because I would often try to handle my problems by myself. Let's just say I had an issue with allowing God to "take the wheel" in my life. I am just so overwhelmed with joy that God intervened and was in sole control of Blogging4Jesus.

I didn't know what to expect for this year and looking back on everyday that has transpired, I probably wouldn't have wanted to go through this year if I could've seen what would lay ahead. After becoming not only interested in the Bible but fully engaged in these stories of miracles, success, and triumphs, I found it hard to wait until the next day to read. Furthermore, I couldn't wait to BLOG!!! It had become a part of my life. It was becoming too easy -- too free flowing -- too rewarding because I understood that when I wrote it was a word from God. I'll be the first to say that this task ordained by God did not come easy because it tested my faith daily. Whenever I would face a problem I would find myself reading old posts just to get through. Andddd the best part was that I would find myself remembering, recognizing, interpreting, and applying scripture. I was finally becoming closer to God because I was taking the time out to understand who he was by understanding his miracles, his teachings, who he called, his love for me, and his love for US.

Blogging was the best thing that happened for and to me. Unfortunately, my father passed away a little before my birthday this year. It was hard, it was traumatic, it hurt then, and it definitely hurts now--all the time! It's something I didn't see coming and something I never imagined. When it happened I just found myself so angry with God. I would always question him asking "Why now? Why me? Why him? Why my dad if I'm doing all of these things? I'm fasting and I'm praying and I'm reading! Don't you see this God? Don't you see that I'm more connected to you now than I've ever been?" My questions didn't stop until I stopped asking God why and I started thanking him for his blessings. That's when God revealed all of these wonderful things to me. I am so fortunate to have had a father, his love for me has not stopped, he resides in my heart, he's proud of me, and he's with God now, and sooooo much more! 

Well I remember blogging for Transforming Tuesday at the hospital, the day before his death, and my heart was so at peace! I remember I read one of the designated scriptures for the day which was Psalms 121 in silence as I blogged. About maybe 30 minutes later I was walking down the hospital hallway and came across my older brother with his Bible open and he was reading aloud Psalms 121. As he read I sat in silence praying when I realized how familiar the scriptures had become. I asked, "Psalms 121?" He smiled and said, "Yea you like that chapter?" I replied, "Yes I do! I just read it." At that moment I knew that God was confirming who he was in our lives. After that, my brother asked can we pray. If you know me then you'd know that prior to blogging this year, I rarely prayed out loud but now for some reason I always pray out loud. Well that day I prayed and I prayed hard. I prayed from my soul, my heart, my lips, my mind. It was effortless. What I prayed for was peace and acceptance in our hearts. After that prayer which lasted for about 20-30 minutes my brother and I just sat back in the hallway chairs and just enjoyed each other's presence even in the midst of uncertainty. I never understood what that prayer meant until the next day -- somehow, someway God was preparing my heart for acceptance and peace, not breaking it (which I had previously thought). Not a day goes by that I don't cry and miss my father, but in those same tears not a day goes by that I don't thank God for his blessings.

So how has blogging4jesus impacted by walk with Christ in 2013? Well now I'm just more hopeful of anything and more spiritually aware. I also no longer have a desire to be in control of my life, because I now understand that this life isn't mine! It belongs to God! When things don't go my way I trust God because I've read what he has done and what he can do!

For 2014? I shared my New Year's Resolution in Bible study. With all that has happened in 2013 (specifically the loss of my father), I just sincerely want God to be the center of my life. I also want to be so stubborn in my faith that I will no longer recognize doubt--I will trust God with everything! It is my desire to be sooooo on fire for God that I will walk full force in my purpose, and that I will not be stopped! I'm looking forward to praying more, fasting more, reading more, writing more, loving more, and serving more. I claim 2014 as THE YEAR OF PEACE AND PROSPERITY IN MY LIFE…John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

In closing, thank you to ALL who have participated in this blog whether it be guest blogging, reading, commenting, visiting the site, sharing the site, and/or praying with us. God has a plan and we're thankful to have been given this vision. We pray this blog has been just as beneficial to you and your life as it has been to ours. 

How has blogging4jesus2013 impacted your walk with Christ?
Blogging4Jesus2013 has impacted my walk with Christ greatly! The area of my life which was most affected was my FAITH! If you had asked me in 2012 if I had strong faith I would have said definitely yes! Well, 2013 became the year of testing of my faith. Thankfully taking on the challenge to read the bible in one year and blogging throughout the year helped me endure the tests and trials that I experienced. Blogging gave me the ability to think and reflect over the verses that I have read. In God’s infinite wisdom he presented me with this wonderful opportunity to be a blogger knowing that I would need to read his word in order to be prepared for the challenges that I would face. God is AMAZING J

2013 has been a roller coaster of memorable and trying events. Each circumstance challenged my faith and the question I found myself hearing from God was “do you trust me?”  

*A recap of a few events that I faced were:

 I was offered a new job that seemed perfect, however, the position fell through and I did not receive the job. During this confusing and frustrating time God asked “do you trust me?” As nice as that position seemed, something in my heart was telling me not to take it.   I discovered later that had I taken the position I would have been out of a job within a few months because the company was sold. I can say fortunately now in retrospect, God knew what was ahead and protected me.   A few months later, my company shut down the division I worked in for the past 3 years and the question from God “do you trust me?” arose again.  I was one of 3 employees transferred to a different facility while others lost their job.  The new job is a long drive, the work is extremely stressful, I work long hours and am exhausted after work  yet God is asking “do I trust him” The answer is yes! God has a purpose for where he has me.  As you may have read I got engaged to a wonderful man, however due to finances my wedding plans have been at a standstill and God is asking “do you trust me?”  During those times when I felt like I could not go on anymore I would read the bible and my fellow blogger’s posts which would always remind me of God’s guidance over my life. God reminded me that his “grace is sufficient for me.  His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore, I can glory in my struggles knowing that the POWER of Christ may rest upon me!” 2 Corinthians 12:9 - Reading the bible and going through challenges has empowered me through Christ!!!!

What do you expect for your walk with Christ in 2014?
I expect for my walk with Christ in 2014 to grow deeper! I am excited for what I will learn about God in 2014. I am expecting to learn more about myself and become a better person through Christ. I am expecting blessings! I know God has great blessings in store for me and I expect to give a good report in 2014. Stay tuned for my praise report. J  Above all I am expecting the Lord to move mightily among young people. I have been praying for a tremendous move of God for many years. I have begun to see signs, but I know there is more to come!

Stay Blessed and Continue Warring for Christ!


Blogging4Jesus2013 was an interesting experience. A ride I didn’t completely want to take but knew I should. My walk with Christ is relatively young and one of my biggest hurdles has been consistency. I would have a solid period of praying, doing the right things, reading the bible then periods of not quite reading or praying etc. It was an unconscious cycle that was difficult to break. Blogging4Jesus helped me break that cycle.

Initially I did not want to be responsible for reading daily and blogging weekly. When fasting was thrown in the mix I was all but ready to gracefully bow out. But I knew being part of this group, having to be accountable not only to myself but to the rest of the bloggers is what would help with my consistency. Reading daily strengthened my relationship with God and helped me gain understanding. The days I didn’t feel like doing it because I was tired or busy or whatever other excuse I may have been able to come up with I thought about the other bloggers and how I didn’t want to let them down. I thought about who ever else may randomly come across the blog on a Thursday needing a scripture to help them through the day, something to motivate them, encourage them, or just comfort them. It was that responsibility, that being a part of something bigger, the feeling of helping more than just myself that helped my consistency and I’m thankful Blogging4Jesus gave me that opportunity.

As the year progressed I found myself not only writing topics about faith, or studying the word or living for God but actually applying it to my life (or at least attempting to). I grew to be more aware, things would happen and I would remember what I read or wrote about, or recall something a fellow blogger wrote and it would help me deal with different situations. I can honestly say I’ve become not just a better Christian but an overall better person because of this blog. There’s still a lot of work to be done and a lot of improvements to be made but Blogging4Jesus is helping me step in the right direction.

Coming into this new year I am expecting to continually grow and become more and more Christ like. There will be hardships, tough times and rough situations but with my foundation set in God I have the tools necessary to overcome whatever may come my way. I expect God to continually move as only he can, for him to touch lives, create opportunities, open doors, bless us and take us further than we could ever imagine taking ourselves. I know we will reach new heights as we do his will and walk in our purpose thanks to his grace and mercy.

This blog has been a blessing. It has helped me to become more transparent and comfortable in being so. I’ve learned that in my transparency God’s glory is revealed. In May, I decided to use excerpts of my blogs and post them on face book, to please God. Most of my life, I covered my walk with Christ, as I sought conformity and approval. The idea of posting on face book brought me fears, and that is the reason I ultimately decided to post. God has been so good to me; I wanted to do something radical for him. Every post caused me to overcome something and it was mainly my image, which I guarded for so long.

Also, these blogs helped me to stay connected to his word and apply what I’ve learned. Actually, this relates to the name I gave Jamera. The name birthed, as she was helping me write my first blog of the year. After it was finished, I was telling her about my school situation and how I didn’t know, if it was going to work out. Jamera then quickly replied, “We know who will work it out,…God. You don’t have to know how, but knowing who is our faith.” I then said, “Wow. That was good Jamera.” She humbly declined the compliment saying, “You just wrote that.” I then reread and realized I did write that, but I wasn’t applying it to my life. She then ministered to me for a few hours and after I was comforted. Appreciative of Jamera, I gave her a nick name. Jamera was like a mirror that night, causing me to see what I hadn’t applied and thus “Jmirror” was born. I learned I can’t just learn or teach, but I must apply. This year brought some tough moments, but reading the daily blog of my fellow bloggers only encouraged me. Thanks to each of you for steadfastly posting, you’ve uplifted me at some point in the year.

2014 is a year my mantra will be “Every step is better”. My expectations in my walk with God, is to be better. My prayer will be better, my knowledge of the word will be better and every step I take with God will be steps to the manifestation of my heart’s desires


Honestly, I can truly say this blog has been a blessing in my life this year, and I’m sure I will see the fruit of this blog not only in my life, but in my fellow bloggers and in yours too (well if you let us know by writing it on the blog or FB page lol=)).

The posts of our bloggers,guest bloggers, and testimonies  have made an impact in my life. I realized that I am not alone in my walk with Christ, and it also made me realize how truly Great God is.

In every post I can see God’s work whether just in someone’s personal testimony or someone simply just writing about the insight and revelation they received from reading the verses for the day.

I am sooooooooooooo thankful!=)
I pray that Blogging4Jesus2013 has been a blessing in your life, and has drawn your closer to our loving and mighty God.
Just want to give a shout out to me fellow bloggers, Stever, J, Jamera, Britt, Ron, and Chris!! Thank you guys for your posts, it is truly a blessing. Love you guys!!<3

Stay in God’s Peace, not in pieces=)

Saturday Sacrifice: Hannah


“Stop quarrelling with God! If you agree with him, you will have peace at last, and things will go well for you. Listen to his instructions, and store them in your heart. If you return to the Almighty and clean up your life, you will be restored” -Job 22:21-23 (New Living Translation)


Before surrendering my life to Christ, I struggled to find a place of peace. I wanted to do things my way and serve my worldly desires. I was insensitive and blind to my sin. I was unknowingly dying spiritually and felt empty due to the substance I lacked.

I failed in trying to understand “life” while rejecting God’s will.  I fell into a downward spiral of deep insecurities and great misfortunes.  Soon after, I engaged in an unhealthy relationship, one that caused me to fall into a deep depression. Thereafter, my situation worsened.  I began to grow accustomed to an abusive relationship and subconsciously manipulated myself into thinking that mistreatment was normal and acceptable.  I had lost myself while in the relationship and felt that there was no escape from the prison my mind was held captive in.

However, though I was terribly broken, my brokenness brought me to God.  After liberating myself of the toxic relationship, I then came to the realization that God was the only one who I needed to be in relationship with and the only one that I needed to be dependent on. I literally fell to my knees when this moment of clarity took place and I made the decision to surrender myself completely to God.

Every day God takes my breath while he breathes life into me at the same time. He liberated me with the gift of peace, and due to this, I can persevere in the midst of adversity.

“Teaching them to keep all the rules which I have given you: and see, I am ever with you, even to the end of the world”-Matthew 28:20 (Basic English Bible)


Monday, December 30, 2013

7 DAYS OF GUEST BLOGGING [DAY 6]: Hope/Faith in my God

As I’m reading about this opportunity to blog, I’m wondering what the topic would be. I knew it was definitely something I would love to take part in despite my schedule. Nothing in my life comes before God. Even when time is limited, God will always come first. Everything else can wait. As I’m reading the email I finally come across the topic that was of God’s will for me to touch upon.  The topic just happened to be on hope and faith!! Boy did this literally bring tears from my eyes. By the way I’m writing from the airport preparing to leave to study abroad in Israel. That is a testimony in itself. Soooo.. Where do I begin?

2013 has started off wonderfully. I always tell my family and myself in the beginning of each year that it is going to be a great year. It’s important to speak things into existence. There is so much power in our words so it is very important to be aware of what we say. The Word of God says how death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) One of the many blessings that has happened this year was completing my bachelor’s degree, which made me a January 2013 graduate. It was an amazing feeling to have my parents and the rest of my family and friends experience my accomplishment.

As the year continued to unfold everything seemed to be going well. My family was fine and so was I. There were no worries. Suddenly, I lost one of my cousins who passed away due to complications from a surgery. Mind you, he was a strong, healthy, well-rounded man. He is my father’s first cousin. He had a daughter who was very close to him. Seeing her come up to the hospital to witness the death of her father was so heart breaking. I was actually up there with my dad to give support to her and the rest of the family. I remember telling my dad, “I don’t know what I’d do if something like this were to happen to you.” The death of my cousin actually happened a few days before Christmas last year. All I could do was pray to God to give his daughter strength and a peace that goes beyond understanding. Indeed our God has done just that for her. Glory to God!

Two months later I experienced one of the most trialing times of my life. My father had an allergic reaction to a medication prescribed to him after a surgery he had undergone. My dad was rushed to the hospital. Literally as soon as he got there he stopped breathing and needed CPR performed on him. Within those five minutes of resuscitation, he lost a lot of oxygen to his brain, which left him with severe brain damage, which eventually lapsed him into a coma. At this point I didn’t know what to do. I felt alone. All I could do was pray to God. I didn’t even know what to pray for at this point. My emotions were running wild. The chaplain at the hospital was trying his best to keep my mom, my sister and I comforted but at that point I needed a miracle. Finally we got the news that they had revived my dad. Now only time would tell. My faith was tested like never before. Weeks passed and my father did not wake up. He is now in what they call a vegetative state where you are awake, but unaware of your surroundings. It is kind of hard to explain. Essentially, it is very rare to wake up from this state, but it is possible because has been done before and I am a firm believer that with God ALL things are possible. Doctors were saying he would never wake up or progress. Almost a year later my dad still has not waken up, but is stronger than ever. I can go on and on about what he and the family has been through, BUT GOD has kept us. I am and will continue to believe in a miracle for my dad until I receive an answer. God has already given me a miracle with keeping my father alive. People around me have been losing their loved ones left and right, but God said it was not my father’s time to go yet.

My faith has been strengthened on a whole other level. I trust God with my entire life now. My relationship has deepened in so many ways. He has kept me strong and given me a peace that has been able to keep me strong. My strength has come from God, but also from each prayer that has gone up for my family and myself. God has given me a peace that even if my dad were not to wake up I am confident to know that he is in the arms of our God. God has given me a responsibility to be the rock for my family. God is our rock, so I mean it in the sense of me being the one holding my immediate family together. Because of my faithfulness and hope in God he has continued to provide and give peace and joy to not only me but also those connected to me.

Trusting in him has enabled me to take leaps of faith. One in which is this trip to Israel. God knew that I had a desire to walk the land on which His son had been. Randomly I came across a trip to study in Israel with the Graduate School of Social Work at Rutgers University where I currently attend. I applied to the program late, but by the grace of God was given an opportunity to still apply. God surely gave me favor. I also took this leap of faith without the money to afford this trip. God continued to tell me to trust Him. I just had to do my part and leave the rest to Him. Sure enough the blessings began to come. God is surely a provider and has shown that to me over and over again. All I had to do was have the faith to have hope and believe that my God was going to make a way for me out of no way. Indeed he did. I am now at the airport waiting for my flight to depart to the Holy land. Thank you Jesus!!!!

During this season of my life I was single. Had been for a while. However, I did have vulnerable moments when the tragic event of my father occurred I, which I would try to fill voids with my ex. I knew the only man I needed was the one I decided to give my life to close to two years ago, God. I strayed away for a bit. God had my back and cut that tie off very quick. I knew that I was destined to be a wife and needed to be patient to wait for the man that God created just for me. I came too far to go backwards so I needed God to be strong through my weakness, which He says he will do in 2 Corinthians 12:9. God actually revealed to me that He was sending a man my way soon. This gave me an even stronger hope. Fast-forward about eight months later. God placed a man of God in my life that has shown me something that no other man could, the love of God. God led him to me at the perfect time. It was very random. For all who are believers know how random our God can be. His timing does not compare to ours. I continue to pray about our situation and ask for God’s name to always be glorified and for our relationship to grow with God as our foundation. The feeling is unexplainable. For all of you ladies in wait for God to send a man to you, please be patient. I promise you it is worth the wait. You are worth the wait. We are all daughters and sons of a mighty King and deserve God’s best!

I pray that you guys are blessed from my testimony. Love you all with the LOVE of  Jesus!

Prayer for God’s beautiful people:  Lord please help your people. They need you to meet them where they are. Take them by the hand and lead them along the path that you have marked out for them. Take away any desired or plans that are not in your will for them. Give them a peace that cannot be given to them from this world. I pray against the hand of the enemy and any schemes that he may have up his sleeve. Lord, surround them with loving people who will only promote growth in all areas of their life. Uplift them and give them a hope to persevere in whatever you have called for them to do. Give them a heart like yours and I ask that you strengthen their faith. Teach them how to love and be pleasing to you. Fill them up with all of you and remove anything that does not belong to you. Create in them a clean heart father and purify their thoughts. Renew their thoughts daily and allow them to experience your unconditional, everlasting love. In Jesus’ precious name Amen.


Sunday, December 29, 2013

7 DAYS OF GUEST BLOGGING [DAY 5]: Listening to God's Guidance

Jeremiah 29:11
‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’

For the most part everyone reading this blog knows that I was once a member of this church.  Due to circumstances beyond my control at the time my family and I left the church. For the past 5 years I worked at RWJUH as a unit clerk. I worked the worst shift (my opinion), 3pm -11:30pm. Working the 2nd shift doesn’t leave much room for anything unless you’re up really early starting your day or decide to stay up really late after work. I had no time for myself, let alone a newborn baby. My job wouldn’t work with me on changing my schedule. RWJUH basically told me to deal with it or find another job. Presented with no other options I chose to find another job. I must’ve filled out at least 10-20 applications a DAY and sent out my resume to hundreds of places, LITTERALLY. I was so frustrated. Everyone kept telling me that I was either over experienced or had lack of experience due to the fact that I didn’t finish school (I had to put finishing school on hold for a while due to becoming a new mother).

The day I decided to give up and call it quits (Don’t ask me how I was going to call it quits as a single parent with a newborn), I received an email asking me to please set up a date and time to come in for an interview. As I stated previously, I had given up. I didn’t even bother to respond to the email, I just deleted it and kept on with my day (Stupid I know). A couple days later, I received a phone call from the same exact company that emailed me. I did some research on the company, and came to the decision to brush them off. However, I thought, “What could it hurt by going to the interview”. My confidence had already been depleted because I have heard “No” so many times. One more “No,” couldn’t hurt as much, but before I walked into my interview I asked God to guide me through this interview and if it was meant for me than I would hear back. In less than a week later I was offered the job.

Four months into my position as Parts Manager I was offered a raise and went from hourly to salary. I’m able to take care of my daughter without worrying if I’m going to be the one to tuck her in at night or even worry about whose care she is in because I am grateful that I was able to get her a sitter that I trust 100%. I also have every weekend off, something I didn’t have at RWJUH. I know this was God’s way of guiding me so I can finally stop joking around about being the “Prodigal Daughter” and finally come back home.

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

I seriously believe my talk with God is what allowed me to attain my new job. Asking him to guide or steer me in the right direction has placed me in the position. I never prayed before going into my other interviews. I never asked for guidance like I did with my last interview. I just went in with an arrogant attitude like they needed me.  I never asked God to Guide me through. I always thought about what I wanted and needed, not what God may have already had in stored for me. There is a reason that my time at RWJUH has ended. That chapter is closed and I’m not going to ask God why he removed me from what I knew for so long. I’m looking at Benner’s as a new chapter, a new fresh start and I’m going to stay there until the Lord tells me otherwise.

When the Lord is guiding you in one direction its for a reason, no matter what part of life its in. There is a reason why God is having you leave that job, or has you not associating with certain people. Don’t fight it. The Lord has the last and final say so. God knows what he is doing. Resisting him is only going to lead you on a path of self-destruction in the long run, trust me. Also don’t be afraid to ask him to take control, well to actually open up your eyes to show you that he’s in control (He’s always in control).

For the year 2013 the goals that I set out to accomplish were to become the best mother to my daughter that I can be, work out my job situation, move into my apartment and to finally go back to school. I accomplished 2 out of the 4, but I believe it’s due to my NEED to be in control. When I decided to finally let go of the wheel I honestly believe that is when I started to accomplish some of my goals. I obtained my job through the Lord and I can finally afford a decent apartment for my little family, which I will be moving (I’m claiming it) into within the next couple of weeks. I know with the Lord’s help I will be able to squeeze my last year of schooling into the equation sometime within the next year.  

With that being said, with for the year ahead I’m going to continue to ask God for guidance in every aspect of my life. I want to commit to going to church on a regular basis. I want to get back to that happy time in my life and become closer to God than I ever was before. I know it’s going to take time but I’m willing to make the time. The happiest times in my life were when I was fully committed to the church. I want my daughter to grow up in the church just like I did as a child, so instead of having the need to control everything in my life I am going to step back and ask for help from the Lord and ask for his guidance.

Thank you for taking out the time to actually read my story. I hope you got something out of it as I did writing it.


Saturday, December 28, 2013


Growing up I was under the impression that relationships equal sex--& that if I wasn't having sex then my relationship wasn't real, or that the young lady I was with wasn't serious enough or... didn't like me enough; looking back, I see that once sex was prematurely in the equation of my "relationship" with anyone, everything else began to go downhill.

I wasn't actively interested in learning more about my girlfriend at the time (what her interests were, or even her future plans). None of that mattered to me because I wasn't even aware that any of it mattered; sex blurred my vision of what it truly meant to love & care for another person. I defined my relationships of the past on the basis of sex, & nothing more or less was important to me (I was lost).

My false perception of what it meant to be in a healthy relationship with a woman led me unto many unhealthy situations--while also causing much pain to young women who deserved much more than I was capable of giving; I was held captive by my own selfish desires, and beautiful-precious-innocent young women paid the price for my own selfish decisions.

Flashing back to 2010: I had recently undergone my 4th major knee surgery (my NFL hopes were essentially over), I lost my house back at home (had no place to live), and I was in the midst of a nasty breakup with the mother of my daughter—that was filled with lying, cheating, and pain that left me filled with bitterness, resentment, and frustration. To top all of that off, my two year old daughter was kept from me for 96 consecutive days without being able to see or speak to her. For the first time in my life, I was broken, I was lost, I was confused, and I felt completely alone (all at the same time); I was sitting on a bench in the pouring rain, literally crying out to God for the first time in my life (wholeheartedly praying). I said what was on my heart (no fancy words), and I told God that I didn’t want to live anymore… I asked Him “will my daughter be better off without me, or (despite her parents not being together) will she be better off with me fighting to make her life the best that I possibly can?” In the midst of all the pain, God provided me with an instant answer through instant peace.

God showed me that my life was going to be hard and that the mess that I had made would result in consequences that appeared to be overwhelming—but that His grace was sufficient, and that His love would conquer the evil (He IS love and I chose HIS way). God showed me that my battle was now His battle and that my victory was already HIS victory (in Jesus’ name). This was my first personal revelation of who Jesus Christ is; when I was weak, He revealed Himself to be strong. He gave me new life. He rescued me from my own selfish ways of the past. He healed me; He brought me comfort; I did not find Him—He showed me that HE had always been there for me all along (even despite my filthiness), He chose to wait patiently for me—knowing that I would eventually humble myself to Him and pray (that His love may enter my heart and rule over my imperfect life for the rest of “my” days).

It’s now almost the end of 2013, and about 3 years ago around this exact time is when I first began to walk in love with Jesus…  I am now married to the love of my life after building a friendship with one another for about two years. I did not intend to fall in love with my best friend, but in my allowing God to deliver my steps (through the innocence of His unfailing love)—I did just so (fell in love with my best friend). God fully convinces the both of us (through His peace) day after day that we were/are created to share life with one another—and I thank Him for sharing His love with me because it is the exact reason why I am who I am today, and able to share it with one of His most favored daughters. Just when I thought life was over 3 years ago—God has shown me that His love has no limits, and that my true life has just begun, in Jesus’ name.

In closing: I pray that those willing to read this will be changed after having heard my testimony, and that you allow His will be done in your life & not your own--& that you test everything that is said against His word & PERSONAL revelation through interaction & prayer with HIM alone. Faith comes by hearing, & hearing by the Word of God; may you always hear what God is saying, & thereafter take into action the task that is to be done (one step at a time). He is calling you--& His desire is for you to walk boldly under the umbrella of His loving power & authority as it is applied to your life daily. Know that God is with you always, waiting patiently for you to give Him your best, so that He can give you better. I hope for all of these things, in Jesus’ name, Amen.