Tuesday, November 26, 2013

TRANSFORMING TUESDAY: Lord I'm Desperate For You

Have you ever been desperate??? Desperate not for negative attention but desperate to have a touch from God? Yesterday Jael spoke about praying to God with power and force instead of coming to God with worries. It spoke to me because lately I've been finding myself praying to God with so much force and power. These prayers consists of prayers for answers, prayers full of questions, prayers full of worry, prayers of anger, prayers of uncertainty, and of course the prayers where I just find myself unable to find the words to say but where my heart says it all. 

So, have you ever been desperate?? So desperate that you would be willing to do anything for a specific outcome? Desperate because you feel like there is nothing more to look forward to? Desperate because you need your hope restored?? I'm sure we've all been there. Lately I have found myself being desperate with God. I have this yearning desire to be close to him. I want to feel him!!! I want to be near him. I'm not sure if I'm feeling disconnected, or if I'm feeling stagnant but whatever the feeling is, it has me feeling desperate for God. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the loss of my father and so I know this emptiness that I'm feeling can only be filled by God. Sunday my mother and I were praying and she told me that if she could take my pain away that she would do it in a heartbeat. Then she proceeded to pray and asked God to fill the void in my heart and ease the pain away because only he can. It was something that hit me: Jamera, only God can make you whole. He blesses us with people who leave their imprints on our hearts but he also needs those same precious people that he has given us back one day. Our job is to love them while we can and when it is time to let go we have to hang on to the good times. That's how I feel when I think of the miracles and blessings that God has given me. I always have a reminder of what he did the month before when I didn't see how I would get through it. He always has an escape route. 

This past weekend I was able to celebrate another year at life: MY BIRTHDAY!!! Originally I was not in the mood to celebrate because it was just a bittersweet feeling knowing that this birthday would be the first birthday (for the rest of my life) that my father would not be there. I was actually dreading the day and if you know me then you know how much I loveeeee birthdays. With all that was going on, I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate. Fortunately for me, my friends and family were in the mood. Although I miss my father I was able to celebrate life -- more importantly blessings!!! Through every birthday I am able to realize the amount of love that I have around me specifically the family and friends that God has placed in my life. I am blessed knowing the amount of positive energy that I have around me. Just when I thought that I was alone God placed people in my life to remind me that I am NEVER alone. Not only do I have friends and family but I have an amazing God who is just always on time.

So to those who are feeling alone just know that God never leaves us hanging. Once you look at everything as a blessing in disguise you will understand God's greater purpose. So when you're feeling alone and stagnant, that is the time you need to recognize that you need to become desperate for a touch from God. The first step is going before him and pouring your heart out to him. Turn that desperation into a desire to get to know God. He never leaves nor forsakes us. And where we lack that's where he picks up our slack. You're not alone. You have me, Jael, Brittney, Ron, Christian, Hannah, Steven, and most importantly you have God. We're all in this together. Be encouraged.

Dear God we humbly come before you with hearts of desperation. Hearts of pain, anger, hurt, unforgiveness, and uncertainty. We ask that you hear us when we say that we want to be made whole. We ask that you fill every void, wipe every tear, and touch every mind so that we will remain desperate for you and not fall victim to the world. It is you Lord who knows what it is best for us. It is you Lord who knows the big plan. It is you oh Lord who understands the beginning to the end. We ask that in the midst of that desperation that you will give us a heart to trust you; a heart to allow you to lead; a heart that allows us to follow you even in the midst of uncertainty. Lord we also pray that you will have your way in our lives. Lord we want to know YOU. Lord we want to touch YOU. Lord we want to feel YOU. Lord we desire to be near YOU. Lord we ask that our cries will soon turn into joy because of your grace and mercy. Lord we also ask that you make us vulnerable and transparent in our walks with you. Heavenly Father we ask that even in the midst of our desperation that you use us for your glory and your glory alone. We trust you because all we have is you. Thank you for being our refuge. In your precious name we pray. Amen.

Also here is another link: 

Yes, with new levels comes new devils. However, my God is still the same today as he was yesterday so I'm not worried about anything.


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